Aston's Diary

So while I wanted to make an audio-diary because I prefer speaking rather than writing, it turns out you cant upload audio files to neocities without becoming a supporter sadly so transcribes entries it is *big sigh*

[25/10/25] - FUNDAY

"Funday was today! fun :D was a great day, hand fun and all but honestly I'm not really in the mood to write happy things lol, lowkey feeling kinda insecure about everything aaaa. It’s so sad, the worst part is idk what i dislike exactly, but i think it’s how boring I am, like off my interests n stuffs are cool but I don’t do anything for shit, like I’m too weird for “normal” people, too normal for weird people and still too weird for my friends :( and I KNOW when ty comes around, no one will want to take risks with me like watching horror movies and randomly meet up in a park to chat and go lie in the rain or smth and BEING CRINGEEE— but i also don’t want to pressure anyone into doing anything aavsbshsnysbusnusbuahuanuajaunuab i’m crashing outtttttttttttttttttttt ausysghsisushjaj omg i spelt sushi in that keyboard smash o: nvm it’s sushj "

[23/10/25] - CULWICK

"So we've started to practice for culwick with week !!! I'm on drums because I'm amazing like that, the altos are being like really quiet cuz I think they thinks its like, i dont wanna say lame but yeah. Aparently people have been talking shit about our conductor which I think is crazy??? Like shes such a good conductor ??? Omg, i forgot that if anyone but my friends read this, they have no idea what Culwick is... so its a choir competition in our school where every form competes with eachother to have the best choir, my year's song is This Is Me from The Greatest Showman!!! Yuppers"

[19/10/25] - HAIRCUTTT

"AHHHHHH I GOT A HAIRCUTAND IT LOOKS SO GOOOOD, its linda a mix between a mullrt/wolfcut and a crew cut? a"

[5/10/25] can you tell ive been thinking about the buried?

[DESCRIPTION: AUDIO TRANSCRIPT OF A NOTE I MADE TO MYSELF AT 1:30 LAST NIGHT,]

"Wow, two inspirational thoughts in one night. I feel like a pile of rot. A pile of mulch. Mulch. M U L C A H. I can speak. Don't worry. I can definitely speak. Um, I feel like a pile of mulch in a shape of a human being. If I were to describe that in art, I'd be pretty sitting in my room normally, but I'd like to draw some sort of fungi growing out of me. And I just watch my phone and I could do like a sort of uh you know that woman Cal Arts film. C A L A R Ts Cal Arts. Um of this soldier who dies and it pretty much documents how the world moves on after that. How the war ends, the natural processes come back, cat eventually shows up, then a person, then the film ends. something similar to that except it would just show me slowly slowly rotting and yeah that's the entire thought. Yeah."

[5/10/25] - its late

[DESCRIPTION: AUDIO TRANSCRIPT OF A NOTE I MADE TO MYSELF LAST NIGHT AT 1:00]

"I got to get this set down as a record before before I forget it and so I can get it fleshed out. Okay. So, I want to draw or make a short whatever film animation about what mind space feels like to me. And what I mean by that is like how I organize my head I guess or how I think it should be physically visually portrayed. So it's a person and every morning they're given not given but have somehow a new handful or armful of things in their hands. I want those things to be symbolic of what is on their mind. On some days they have a basket and they can neatly put all those in. Some days they don't have a basket, but they can still manage with all the things they have in their hands. And some days they're given an object so big that some things start to fall off. Maybe soap for hygiene. Maybe an apple falls represent eating. Maybe suddenly socialize their social life falls because they didn't talk to people that day. But they still have more of those things. Maybe they have four bars of soap. Um, they dropped one of them because they didn't have things. They didn't brush their teeth. They didn't shower that day. They have four apple. They have a few food. Maybe one apple fell cuz they didn't have lunch. And maybe they're also holding a scale to say how they're thinking out their weight. They're also holding a bike lock. Maybe that represents security. Maybe that represents exercise. I want some house symb. So, that will probably be one of the big objects they're holding. Um, I want some way to contrast that with what it should be like, which is a search system, I guess, like a database with all their thoughts neatly neatly categorized into each one maybe folder for thinking about weight, thinking about food, they're somehow connected, thinking about family, thinking about friends, thinking extended friends. Think about social presence. Thinking about cleanliness, thinking about how tidy their room is, thinking about style, thinking about things they own, think about the world's socioeconomic state, how they can help. And then some other way there's like a box for guilt, box for care, all that. That's how it should be. But instead, this person is holding all these things. Sometimes some of them drop and sometimes they can't pick those up. That's when bad habits happen. Can't stop me. Why am I crying? What the [ __ ]"

[22/09/25] LIARS AND DECIEVERS (NOT ME)

Elie is trying to make me admit I know some secret at lunch???!! ELSIE I KNOW YOURE READING THIS, WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?? like genuinely

[20/09/25] - SPIES EVERYWHERE

elsie what do you MEAN you check this site regularly. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CHECK THIS SITE REGULARLY. HOW MUCH IS REGULARLY!??!

[12/09/25] - GENERAL UPDATE

"OMG!!! I havent updated in over a month- Life's been kinda crazy so let me just make this quick. So, school's started up again which is intresting (ewwww), I've gotten more into punk music, OH YEAH IM BACK IN IRELAND BTW I HAVENT BEEN IN ITALY FOR A MONTH- uhhh, my friend on discord and I are chatting a lot more now!! I feel like a lot's happened but also like nothing has :/ idk. I just got done making like 6 patches for my denim jacket and I've already sewn like half od them on, so thats hype. OMG I GOT A BINDER!!!!! FINALLY!! Well it hasnt come yet BUT SOON! ON MONDAY!!!!!!! And its (supposedly) for a Villy's cosplay for halloween with my friends :]]]] Anyway, I'm gonna head to bed now cuz it is 11:30pm :] GNNNN!!!!!"

[09/08/25] - HOLIDAY GRAFFITI

"And we're back XP So I just saw some lovely graffiti (that i'll post dw) and it just reminded me how much I love graffiti, like it was just a fish named mario but I would overthrow a small to medium sized country for mario. Anyway, it is 36 fucking degrees out. I am not okay"

[07/08/25] - AIRPORT CRYING TIME

“guess who’s crying in the airport, it’s meeeee. Alright so, basically I’m really shitty at keeping times straight and actually planning out my day n stuff and that’s a problem because im 14 and not a fucking child. So my dad, while I’m sick, tired and just trying to get through the airport, decided that now, in the middle of butlers chocolate, would be the best time to lecture me about it :) of course :) And fun fact, I cry easily! So, everyone was looking at me :) of course :) and I don’t even really wanna be here, because as I said before, i’m kinda sick.”

[24/06/25] - MOMA + HADESTOWN

Omg so I just went to MoMA (Museum of Modern Art) and have gotten a few really cool ideas for art projects. So the first one is a piece on social media made by taking screenshots of tiktok videos and the other one was an animation (mixed media) that shows what it feels like to see something that someone’s put a lot of work into, like the burst of joy and energy from seeing like that one Pit bull Terrier inside job animation. Gonna try put these sorta things in the other section, so go check it out!!

[ASTON PAUSES RECORDING, PICKING IT UP LATER THAT DAY]

Wow 2 in one day that’s crazy- so I’m in the interval in hadestown and ITS SO GOOD!!!!! Stays pretty true to the og myth butttttt that’s kinda concerning because the story of Orpheus and Eurydice is a tragedy… While Orpheus makes it down to Eurydice and starts bringing her back up, he looks back and she dies, going back down to Hades :( Hope they change the ending.

[END OF RECORDING, AFTER THE II ACT, ASTON RECORDS AGAIN]

Spoiler alert, they did not change the fuckin’ ending >:(

ITS SO SAD THOOOOOOO AAAAGAHGEHWBSHA LIKE NOOOO ORPHEUS DONT LOOK BACK YOURE ALMOST THERE DX Anyway, I was able to get the actor of Eurydice to sign my play book so yay :D

[23/06/25] - WEIRD ASS DREAM

Ok so sorry I havent updated in awhile (nobody cares ik but still) I just kinda forgot to T-T Anyway its morning and I just had the weirdest dream like, so what happened was I was sitting in class with my laptop open (I don't own a laptop) and I was eating this lemon slushie stuff and the girl next to me (lets call her C) said "Wait why tf are you eating yellow snow" so I tell her "Its not that its lemon flavoured, try some" So she does and she begs me for the recipe, ALSO BY THE WAY C IN REAL LIFE BULLIES MY FRIENDS?? Like shes not in my class but she apparently just hates all my friends for NO REASON, anyway, so shes asking for the recipe, I give it to her then we somehow start talking about aesthetics and then the life series?????? Anyway then I woke up. (Also, for this entire time I had pinterest up on my laptop)

[06/07/25] COSTA RICA DAY 2

"Helloo! ok so basically, We've gotten to our hotel and its pretty nice although the food is mid (NOT BAD just pretty okay) and the first thing we did after breakfast was go to this place called the Jaguar Rescue centre where our guide, Max, was very funny and silly lmao, suprisingly we didnt see any Jaguars because it was named after a misunderstanding where eveyone thought an ocelot was a jaguar but otherwise it was really great!!! Andif you want to support the JRC, this is their website!! I'll be posting some of my photos I took in the art page once I get them off of my camera, ok thats it for now, baiya!"

[RECORDING ENDS, LATER THAT DAY ASTON RECORDSS AGAIN]

"Hiya I'm back, two entries in one day is crazy i know. Anyway, it started raining a bunch in the afternoon so I did some artfight attacks. We're driving home from dinner now, we ate at this italian place and GOD DAMN THAT SHI WAS INCREDIBLE, like AAAAAA it was so good. So good infact that I ate too much and now I have a tummy ache :( anyway, baiyaaa (actually this time)

[05/07/25] - COSTA RICA, DAY 1

OKOK I have been awake for 21 hours (woke up at 3am, going to bed soon at 1am) and note to my future self, do NOT listen to Will Wood if youre overstimulated, it is NOT worth it.

[01/07/25] - ARTFIGHT + NOTES

"Ok so I think I'm gonna change the format of these and focus less into huge long paragraphs and more short updates :D, ok so Artfight atarted like uh an hour ago?? but Ive beenat a restraunt so havent been able to participate just yet, defo gonna attack my moots and friends first once I get my Ipad back :D anyway, so long for now"

[01/07/25] - MUSIC + ARTFIGHT

"hello it is the first of the july 2025 and i'm just really bored uh yeah there's a motorbike outside right now being very annoying"

[THE MOTORCYCLE GETS OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD BEFORE DISAPEARING DOWN THE ROAD]

"thank you now anyway back to what i was going to talk about I've noticed, I was trying to show my dad a song by Chohnny Jash. No, it's not Johnny Cash. Chonny Jash. And I just immediately started saying, oh, it's not good. It's not good. It's not good. I like it, but it's not good. I just wonder why that is. I don't know. Anyway, art fights today in, actually what time we're going, 3 hours and 59 minutes. How lovely jubbly. Honestly can't wait. Dad's taking away my iPad because why the fuck not? Um, and yeah, art fight. If I can get my iPad back for it, then yeah. Oh, and he didn't tell me, by the way. I just can't find it anywhere. And he said something that he'd only know if he had my iPad, I thought. That's a notebook. And yeah, fun fucking times. Very fun times. One of my friends has actually gone on to art fight things. By the way, his characters look so cool. He has this one character that is, his name is Martin. Not Martin Blackwood. Not Martin in the Littlewood either. Loads of Martins. Anyway. Yeah, Martin. He's pretty cool. His whole thing is he's being controlled by this other character called the author I think it is yeah the author looks pretty cool apparently he can't be seen but he can be seen in like the sun rays I see what he's trying to go for and honestly I think it's really cool that and yeah then he has this owl character i think it's a secondary character he doesn't have much lore in his artfight description but you know he looks pretty fancy pretty cool if i do say myself wait what that last bit didn't make sense pretty cool um then obviously- I have two people to attack right now on art fight I really do want to attack more people like I had that uh all those usernames on the art jam thing I forgot what it's called uh on magma so fun there I can have a few people to attack which is good I just hope I actually have my Ipad back so I can attack them. Yeah. I know I sound like a spoiled brat, so, if anyone's reading this. But like, come on. Really? You had to take it? I'm going- I'm packing my bag, I did the things that you told me to. And you still took it? yeah anyway that's getting too deep for this recording, adios"

[30/05/25] - INTRO

[ASTON SHUFFLES AROUND IN HIS CHAIR]

"Cool! so if you're reading this then my website is actually working lets go? So how I think I'm gonna do this is that I have a like- recorder app on my phone? and I'm gonna speak to it and then transcribe whatever I end up saying on here, also I think I forgotta mention in the intro that I use any and all pronouns and that on a lot ot sites, I say I'm genderfluid, which I am but I'm also genderqueer of that makes sense at all. Uhhhhhh also in a lot of places I say I'm aroace but I'm genuinely so confused about that se we're just gonna go with unlabled for now. Anyway, I think this is a pretty good intro I think, perchance uh so thanks for reading i guess lmao., bye?"

[ASTON ENDS THE RECORDING]

[30/05/25] - MKULTRA

[ASTON STARTS HER RECORDING]

"Hello, welcome back to the site. I guess I don't really know. What I mean by that, but anyway so What I guess I really want to journal is I've kind of been getting interested in the interest of like, you know, I mean Interested in the MK ultra experiments and the whole CIA conspiracy around that I just think the whole thing's pretty interesting so far Because I currently from what I've learned from the call me chris podcast i've been listening to uh About that one episode a couple of youtube videos and another podcast Is that how severely fucked up these experiments were obviously? but also how Clinically they were done. I guess they technically were clinical experiments, but Damn, that's I just I just think it's crazy Just in general that anyone could even think of doing these things Other than that Yeah, I just kind of wanted to make an entry before I forget um I'm more on the my life things. My room is still a mess very annoying Um, I still have to pack my bag because i'm going away on Wednesday, I think it is. It's monday today And no, we're gonna start we're going on friday and it's monday today. I have to have my bag packed for before thursday Because i'm going out with a friend on that day and I I don't know. I really don't want to do it And now i'm going to have to because we're going to costa rica which is going to be absolutely incredible Oh But uh And I know i'm gonna sound really really like That but like Kind of dreading it. I don't know Yeah Anyway enough diary for right this second Bye, I guess."

[ASTON ENDS THEIR RECORDING]